a few words about birthdays.

hi everybody. church members, Church family, relatives, neighbors, and friends. i have a confession to make. i dont do celebrations well. ive passed this on to my family and muted a lot of our birthdays and milestones and inflection points where we could see fruit growing from long seasons of cultivation and pressure. it’s easy to celebrate others, but i always fear ours being undercut or scandalized, used to make us comfortable and vulnerable by people who don’t like our pace or direction as missionaries.

this morning our oldest sons went out the door together at 5:30 as always, but this time one had crutches from some bullying we hope is addressed at the school level and the other left home with a burden to be whatever his brother needed during the two hour ride to school.

i already missed celebrating one birthday publicly. youssouf turned 3 in february (and confessed saving faith in Christ two weeks ago), and i as usual waited for fruit and focused on making it through. im sorry. it seems we’re on the other side of a long tunnel, and i can say that the time has come to celebrate some past, present, and future victories. abraham y elijah, todos ustedes han sido fieles y fructiferos en su campo misional. thanks for taking coya seriously and modeling it for your younger brothers.

kwaku, you’re the missionary to us. your birth healed mom’s body and soul after a miscarriage and eight long years of feeling like our hopes and dreams died, and your discipleship led youssouf to jesus, as you declared to us you were going to do when homeschool started two years ago! and setumte is loved and growing and watching yall. you join us in our coya meetings and bible studies, and shepherd your younger brothers like elijah does with abraham to make sure we’re loved as we try to love others. we cant do this without you.

i know im leaving people out. but this is just the beginning and it’s already really long. i dont like to spend longer on loving my family than i do on our community, but i am changing. thanks for taking so much of that load off my shoulders, and loving me as well. especially you elizabeth. i love you. #coya fo life.

coya, revisited

enjoy.

this is so good i had to share!!!

hi there. just go to https://www.youtube.com/live/Mu3rDqVQrDw?si=uNI9rWf4uvlp88rY

then come back to this page. let’s talk after, kay?

oh yeah, o canada is still good (and applicable) a decade later.

’tis the season

hi everybody. to my students, it’s the break so if i shared this site with you, it’s cuz i’m a christian. don’t worry, we’re not trying to convert you. my whole family loves you (that’s why we moved here), and want to share some good music with you. https://youtu.be/WeZ-2R0GkdY?si=rRZhCjCfglsOqsYI was a lil dummy dummy so first come the lyrics. you know how we do.

“Daily Bread” Lyrics

(from https://genius.com/Emanueldaprophet-and-lil-yachty-daily-bread-lyrics)

[Intro: EmanuelDaProphet]
Yeah
Thank you, Lord
I ain’t been on this type of time in a minute, man, you feel me?
Hmm, mmm

[Verse 1: EmanuelDaProphet]
They say I’m holy, but I’m drippin’, they like, “Who is he?” (Yeah)
Call the Father, got my daily bread, but this ain’t Uber Eats
He came through, we gathered in His name ’cause there was two or three (Yeah)
If you put the ball in my court I might shoot a three (Swoosh)
My spirit man fight my flesh man ’cause it be two of me (Wow)
Like how these women tryna catch me slippin’? They pursuing me (Man)
I’m suited up, I be in Ephesians, you can’t ruin me (Facts)
Steppin’ on a demon like I’m dancing at the jubilee
You feel that holy heat? Yeah, hot lava
Trials and tribulations come my way, it’s not my problem
And if you tryna play the cops, then I got robbers (Yeah)
Stole souls from the devil’s block, hit your block party (Give me that)
Came through busting doors down, had to bombard ’em
They thought I took a year off, I had to come harder (Yeah)
On the winning team, win a trophy like the Lombardi
Lord hit my pockets with a blessing, now they dumb larger

[Verse 2: Lil Yachty]

(Go) Jackpot, I just hit out back, me and Rich
Couple things that I did, plead the fifth
I won’t dare, double dare, Lennox Square, spent a dub
For my—
Grip it by the—
Yeah, couple dogs behind the walls, we need to see ’em freer
He need to repent, did more lines than Derek Jeter
Yeah, parkin’ it on the curb, I ain’t even pay the meter (Brrt)
Her BD just like Cousin Skeeter, askin’ for a feature
Coupe, yeah, like a train track
Heard you called God, did He ring back?
Back against the wall, stood tall, stayed intact
Heard he went cold, guess they need a raincheck (Yoom)
Where they hang at? Man, they all dubs
Bet they all grub, the TLC, they all scrubs
Dissin’ online, but in person, all love
Ain’t goin’ back and forth, I leave it to the one above

waitaminute. lil yachty? the boys made a remix about this as we prayed for him over 8 years ago!! https://youtu.be/zUigBH4N2J0?si=kHiD-wWI8tWTXc-i

we are #unashamedly excited about this genre of music whether they choose to navigate the CHH (christian hiphop) space or secular space (https://youtu.be/Aso3wEC31VQ?si=PZE9mEyH53EEu2ec), because people from this culture have contributed more to our growth and development than any other group. and at the end of the day, that’s what all this tribalism and identity politics is all about. missionaries from this group became more family than our families, and after they sent us up here, our parenting reflected our values. that lecrae x fred hammond collab deserves a shout-out too. it hit me hard after a hard week at school (sorry yall, your classmates can be a lot). https://youtu.be/KxXXqFhDkwY?si=u5mdXgMEmO4sL6AK was the homie. Shout out to my wife for finding and sending it to me after a long day after a long week after the longest stretch of the school year. Time to rest now. Shabbat shalom family.

growing in a graveyard

The war on Gaza is so clear-cut. Not complicated. Of course the details are. But application in our lives, where it counts, means that we boil it down through our roles so we can learn the lesson and live the solution. in 1978, a young ben netanyahu addresses these issues and more (https://youtu.be/g1c-DSZ_l9Q?si=fyndBqynUJK7KoB0) but chooses #45 years later to risk creating an arab holocaust rather than subjecting israeli security to world opinion. this is a really good resource for those of us who love Jesus and hate these power games, because not all Americans supported Trump.

check out https://youtu.be/qNACU2bmuio?si=qy3R-rilpXbwJdPx and https://youtu.be/WoM6fi9AvNY?si=rYVRFLGBbDgGYKYd for differing views on this topic. controversy is ok, but genocide is not.

For us,

We wanna grow. We have been placed around people we wouldn’t normally be around (like the international community did with Gaza and the West Bank to Israel), and there is conflict (especially when they play the victim after attacking us to try and slander us to others), but unless i want to become Pharoah and create my own kingdom here, i should love my Samaritan neighbors like Jesus did. Application?

/https://fb.watch/nyZqOMQN3-/ was our graveyard. We stay close to our roots.

poem: it’s not robbery (by elizabeth)

it’s not robbery/

the life you gave to me//

its bountiful w/ identity/

character formed in obscurity//

yes, they blind to good fruit/

but it doesn’t touch the truth//

that we were faithful in our wilderness/

and now we wait with our sons’ tests//

we shouldn’t even be here but you held us/

now as we wait with them we see our promise//

you gave us, us, and fruitful seeds/

and social gon’ blow in like the breeze//

and these meantime moments/

give space to fight and own it//

On quiet days where we need to set the pace/

wade past the thoughts to the secret place//

with you. where you say come on in the fire’s warm/

Takes some logs and build a fire for your barn//

meaning comes alive and the choices of our twenties sing/

and a disgust for old idols brings clarity/

as i dig and weed and take each step w/ my feet//

we are at the end and when unrestrained lusts are immobilized/

And opportunities inevitable like the sunrise//

it is only a matter of time for growth with you and my best friend/

Right in time to honeymoon around scoffers and ex friends//

And nueras will come and the life that we fight for on winter days like today will be our joy/

so in the meantime God help us rest in you above the clouds on westwood or around DCS girls and boys//.

Amen.

O Atchafalaya (the story of the 3 little pigs, retold in 2 parts…in the South)

1 Once upon a time in de bayou…Three lil hawgs lef dey momma.

Hawg wun seh momma! Boom boom boom he knock on she door late at night. He say Im fixin be gawn by de mawnin reckin Im grown nah.

2 Momma dont want neva lose dem churen, but she say I know behbeh, yo tahm sho nuff come

So hawg wun he be gawn in de mist o de swomp gas. He find Willie fufu de gata en him whoole crew. Willie dem say: hawg whutchu doin roun heuh?! Dontchu know we pop a piggie lak a crawdad?

1 Hawg wun he skeered but he act lak he aint give dem no nevermind. Him say whut it do Willie fufu?! I comes today ta buy from you! Got mah bread from mowin de lawn, an I need a crib by tomorrow mawnin!

Den stop yo jawin! Sed Willie fufu, I got some straw ta sell to you, and well come back when rent is due, or youll be piggy gumbeaux stew!

2 When rent is due?! Hawg wun thought, as he walked away with the straw hed bought. I aint bout ta be no piggy stew! So he went back home and got hawg two

Boom boom boom boom went mommas door, didntchu just leave a few hours ago?! I know momma but I wanna talk to my bruvaz, we said wed always help each uva…

1 Hawg numba two stepped out the do, looking big from head ta to, full grown beard and arms all gangsta, both hands holdin wooden planks. I come witchu, he said aloud, wif bass that bodyslammed the ground. Hawg wun looked proud, and quietly out stepped the last one, hawg numba three.

Momma, said hawg numba three, in case of an

emergency…

Can we move back in and use yo kitchenware fo free? But befo momma said a werd, two went all upside his head, said bo grab sum straw say bye ta maw strip yo bed.

2 Hawgs wun, two an three made a creaky ol canoe to take the planks up the creek carried there by numba two. When they got to a clearing numba two made a log house carved out quietly til they heard a small sound

And then b-b-b-b-boom! like before but this tam it wuz Willie fufu at the door wif a lotta mo people said yo rents still due you aint know we followed you, trespassin our lagoon.

1 But befo wun could answer out stepped numba two put his chest in the face of ol Willie fufu. But Willie had a warrant and they hog-tied two and they threw all dat straw back into the lagoon. But they blew his house down, wun an three got away! whut we gon do? Said three, We aint got no place to stay! Glad I took that kitchenware momma gave me when we went, wun why you spent yo money? All I got is one months rent.

2 Thas it! sed wun. he been quiet fo a long tahm. 

Thas bail fo numba two, he aint did no crime, cuz I dont ceuh bo kitchenweuh mo den seeing numba two, and that straw I bought is muddy nah in dat dere lagoon. So we jailbreak two and they told us theyd be back, to collect on our rent once we rebuilt the shack. It was cold that night so three got the oven out, and we burnt the wood and prayed for food and then we saw a cloud

1 De swomp fawg rising from the crik clearly said, This heuh straw is good fo somethin, if you bake it into bread. Least it sounded good to wun, until he repeated it to two. Three was more scared than angry, but wun chose ta follow thru. What we got to lose? he said. Turnin mud into bread? de crik said that thang befo, an dis tahm ah heard whut he said! Kinda got it right, maybe cuz they was tired an it wuz late at night, two and three helped wun make mud bread without a fight.

2 They awoke in the morning to a pile full o bricks, said I dont believe in talkin creeks but wun, thats a nice trick! And wun grinned as he put the finishing touches on they house, where dey lived rent-free cuz he followed dat cloud.

1 Case you worried bout momma, she moved on in. And now they share the kitchenware, and wun still grins cuz he chose ta trust in de crik tho three chose to trust in people, 

2 and two trusted in his muscles even after Willie beat him and while wun built a famly, two built a swomp boat, and three built an appetite fo his mommas gumbeaux.                    Dee end!

if you want additional homework, lookup  www.gdyt.org and https://wolverinepathways.umich.edu/ and email questions to kwaselizabeth2020@gmail.com because application season is about to reopen for next year. don’t let life pass you by. peace.

August 2*23

the COYA project went really well. Choose: Own Your Adventure is another way of saying you’re trying to raise teenagers. It helped them think about the weight of their choices like our friend caleb gordon rapped about in his song “fruit of my labor” (check it out please on youtube!)

with people like caleb pouring into their lives, it’s so refreshing (as parents who met discipling teens) that people are helping our own teens in the same way! Fruit of your labor indeed. Thanks Caleb. Thanks Jesus. Enter:mission.

now that we have teenagers, it’s so important to be able to have those difficult conversations with them. Those who lead us have encouraged us to use poetry and rap lyrics in order to do so. We are grateful for the advice 🙂

Verse 1

Leading teenagers is scary

Even for missionaries/

We set the pace and direction

Distance like visionaries//

Please pray that God protects them

Invest in risky experience/

We sent them into their interests

Hoping God can keep em

Curious//

And grounded in

Perspective that their

Peers left as children/

As the foundation for

Their building i know

This is not appealing//

As their trust leads into

Discipleship and 

Responsibilities carried/

Into marriages and 

Parenting i toldju 

Teenagers were scary//

Some see them as mental

Children just with curves or

Facial hair but/

If they see it as a time to 

Prepare you should be scared//

Verse 2

Lies seep in when I already wanted them/ and all the excuses cover my sin like let me in!!// God and family I’m sorry for replacing you/ Yeah it only takes one tiny excuse, and then what I was supposed to use… I abuse//

And here I am coming back for repentance/ then the shame and guilt gets me trip’in//

Ok listen up here’s a story about a leader called Trump/ Don’t ever make him mad aka Ahab// Here’s another story I have to tell about a boy who acts just like Jezebel/ both of their leadership results are just as terrible// the prophets can only talk in parables so that their feelings don’t get hurt/ and when the prophet comes he says all you got to do… IS CHOOSE// and when the real leader comes he looks at what you have done/ and says if you really want to try THEN FOCUS ON THE WHY// you can always tell a real leader from a fake one/ because a real leader doesn’t stop when the pressure is gone//

Verse 3

I didn’t even know I had this side of me. My flesh is so wrong, never says bye to me/

Something times I want to keep hiding. in decisions, flesh and spirit colliding//

Every time I fall, it’s easy to focus on my excusing intentions. But I have to remember that thought did not come from my dimension/

And every time I get up, it’s tempting to say.

I don’t need yo help. I can do it my own way//

At first, I feel judged when I’m falling away.

Till I feel good, like man, I’m not really going astray/

So “if my biggest enemy is me and even I can’t stop me.¹” Then I should invest in me and not depend on papi//

When I let my bro help me, even when he rebukes me. I don’t need to hide behind him like a corrupted copy/

I might not be the cool most-needed MVP.

But I know I can change and not be sloppy when I’m leading//

“Told me to love em, I love till it hurts²”.

Roles always first, when it’s Test time we already rehearsed./

When the jobs done yeah, we all planned fun.

Like level up, adventure has just begun//

¹Andy Mineo- You can’t stop me 

²Caleb Gordon- Love till it hurts

choose. own your adventure (COYA)

there are so many distractions from purpose. in her video released yesterday, stephanie ike okafor talks about the role of business and occupation in our work in God’s kingdom (https://youtu.be/dYsIeyM1Wes). Our family wrestles with two distractions that take us from this preoccupation with building God’s kingdom. We’ve had plenty fights about these, and plenty opportunities for compromise that we’ve fallen to and gotten back up from. One is deception when it comes to community outside of accountability and consecration (basically community on someone else’s terms other than God), and the second most popular distraction is our own community outside accountability and consecration. We trade God’s plans for our own, and crash.

Over the years, we’ve prayed for ways to fight this, both outside and inside our home, and He has given us various means of grace, usually tools that we can use to help both our family and others (2 Corinthians 10:5-6), if we desire help. Over the next few days, we’ll be revisiting this site to build our next such tool, another COYA (“choose. own your adventure”) book (we make one for every big issue. They’ve been so helpful).

This one concerns the imagined 2032 conversation between our last son and his family and relatives about how many years he has to prepare for certain challenges ahead. it is based on a conversation we had last year about the role of life’s tests in determining the pace of our growth towards God when devotion wasn’t enough. stay tuned!

HBCU tour! …slash mid life crisis

this week, a good friend invited me on a tour of several colleges, and even gave me the honor of being a tour guide for my alma mater! and it took me on a journey through my childhood, meeting Jesus, meeting my wife, and forming a family with her.

i remember sitting in this guy’s dorm room talking about life like we were long-lost brothers out here trying to figure stuff out without our parents, and i was so captivated by the answers he’d found to questions i’d had for so long. i became a christian my first week of college. and traded booty dances for deep relationships and good boundaries with sisters as we served together

and i’ll never forget my first study abroad semester. just after becoming a christian herself, my mom sent me to live with my dad for a semester and reconcile with him. i got to teach lots of kids, but God was preparing me for my own on that trip. thx God.

avalanche!

Avalanche

Against and amidst the winds

Blowing perpetually around

The planet are the words of the

Architect who planned it

Planted in the subconscious

Nature of organisms and organizations is the

blueprint of the One who made these possible

through Creation

And when he speaks

Leaves bow and his children go

to a quiet place to hear his heart

against and amidst the winds

that keep saying

That he subjected their dreams to futility through years of waiting

Hopes are on hold, forsaken in the cold, shivering, naked

Some pick up their face and make the best of this,

I won’t subside I will resist and faithfulness replaces what they used to know

of bliss

They find his words half-hidden in the snow and

wear them around their shivering frame to try and hide them

from the cold

They take the words that fit

That represent their longing

For the day that never dawned

And the hope they only sing about

Sunrise at 30,000 walking in the clouds

These words keep them warm though they

Can’t imagine how

Others shut the windows tight

When the wind blows in on nights

Like these cuz the lies are enticing

Icy blasts trying to act like winter never passed

Though the leaves on this tree

Say it has

Ready for the avalanche

Seasons change like people

Though his promise can’t

Life’s no picnic but I’m

Busy like that summer ant

Disappointment pours down

Avalanche of feelings

Dodge the drops

Save the grains

Pray he’ll heal me

while I’m walking wounded

Layaway, paying on the

Promise of a better day

God please take the pain away

But if you don’t I’ll stay

Focused can’t be

Hopeless cuz my

Focus is my hope

If I try to cope

Without you

Feels like walking

Through the snow again

Gotta close those windows

Put more logs into the

Fireplace

Stir the kindling

Check the windows

That’s when I saw the faces

Of the same folks

Whose hearts turned hard while waiting

Huddled underneath his words

In my front yard, praying

As the heat from my fireplace

Made their hands and faces glow

I went outside and taught then how to shut their windows

Keep their lamps burning

Turning from their bitterness

As I’m talking, more coming…

…like an avalanche.